In a Chinese Restaurant:

"Do you guys do forks?"

After a car accident involving a deer:

"And of course they sent the bitchy girl cop, not the hot guy cop!"

"Grandpa, you can come watch Fox News at our house! We always have it on!"

After having spilled beads all over the floor, she recounts the incident and includes her nanny/maid, Consuela*:

"I spilled the beads all over the floor and swept them into a pile, but I was really tired so I went to sleep. I hope Consuela cleaned them up. And when I got home the next day, it was spotless."

*name changed

"I planned on unpacking when I got home from school, but when I got home, Consuela had already done it for me."

In a Target elevator:

"Wow, this elevator is huge."

"Yeah, it's like the size of Consuela's room."

An acting student:

"If I made six figures, I wouldn't care about my passions."

"I would go into politics, but I'm not a liar."

"They film so many movies in my neighborhood, it's a joke."

"#fairfieldcountyproblems"

"Well, yeah, everyone belongs to a club. You're just judged on which one you belong to."

"I hope they don't turn that park in to a parking lot."
"I do, we need more space to park around here!"