"I accidentally signed my parents name on my SAT test because I'm so used to signing their name on their credit card I have."

In his guide to weekdays, his thoughts on Thursdays:
"...Thursdays mean great NBC television, a nice filet mignon, whispers of some random sophomore's parents leaving for the weekend, and a minty clean room (I hope your cleaning lady comes on Thursdays too- Beatrice, you're a doll)."

"When I was 13 I told my parents the only thing I wanted for Christmas was a blank check. But all I got was an iPod shuffle."

"I spilled iced tea on my first Mac, so they fixed it and gave it to my brother, then I got my new one. I've had three computers total."

"Growing up, we could only buy things if they were on sale, and I still do."
"I only buy things that are on sale!"
"That's not true! I was with you and you didn't buy things on sale!"
"Well, that doesn't count, it was Forever21 and H&M...those are already cheap! I only buy J.Crew if it's on sale!"

"Paying bills stinks."
"I hope I never have to pay bills."
"You will..."
"Yeah, but what if I like get married really young and then my husband will always pay the bills."


"For class, we had to chart the cost of college. Then we had to do it for a car for when we go to college. But, like, what if I already have a car? Then I don't have to add that right?"

"My dad only makes a million dollars a year. And after paying for the cost of our family and stuff, it's really not that much."

"We used paper bags to cover our text books."
"Yeah, like I used a Rugby bag."
"Me too! That bag is so cute! Yeah, if I have to bring anything to school, I make sure it's a nice bag. I'd never use a CVS bag!"

"My mom suggested we get a school bus for prom because that's what her friend's daughter did; I asked her where they go to school and she said *random CT town*, and I was like 'Obviously they get school buses in the ghetto, in our town we get party buses.'"

"Those salmon-colored shorts that guy is wearing are so Connecticut!"
"Which ones?"
"That guy on the bench."
"Oh, those are Nantucket Red."

"I want to go see Streetcar on Broadway. They've got an all-black cast."
"Ugh, I hate it when they do that."
"That's racist!"
"No, it's like a Tyler Perry movie. Make it stop."
"That's still racist!"